My supervisor
”
Rhonda
”
keeps getting involved in my personal life. For example, she has
been pressuring me for two years to go to her church, which is very
fundamentalist. She talks frequently about saving sinners.
Q:
My supervisor “Rhonda” keeps getting involved in my personal life. For example, she has been pressuring me for two years to go to her church, which is very fundamentalist. She talks frequently about saving sinners.
Recently, Rhonda learned through one of our managers that I have been having some issues at home. Although this is not affecting my work in any way, she felt a need to “advise” me. She even came over to my house.
I tried to respond to Rhonda’s overtures diplomatically, but she was not pleased with my reaction. She said that my life is going nowhere and that she is fed up with me. When I replied that I had not asked for her help, she got angry and stormed out of my office.
Now Rhonda is giving me the cold shoulder and making snide remarks about me. I tried going to human resources, but the HR manager said I should apologize to Rhonda because she is just trying to be my “sister in Christ.” Quitting is not an option, so what can I do?
A:
This situation is wrong on so many levels that I hardly know where to begin. Your supervisor has absolutely no business promoting her religion at work or inserting herself into your personal affairs. Your appalling HR manager obviously doesn’t understand her job, because any qualified human resources professional would immediately tell Rhonda to stop these intrusive activities.
All this unprofessional management behavior also makes me wonder about the competence of your top executives.
If you can identify a reasonably sane manager who is willing to help, perhaps there’s hope for change.
But if everyone is as nutty as these two, then you need to start planning your escape. Until you can leave, concentrate on developing survival skills. Cultivate allies by being friendly and helpful, but never talk about your personal problems.
The less these folks know about you, the better. Don’t bother getting angry with Rhonda, because she clearly isn’t rational. If you need to blow off steam, vent with friends outside the office. Finally, start polishing up your resume, because you need to exit this weird workplace as soon as possible.
Q:
I want to know how to distinguish between work-style differences and performance problems.
Sometimes managers say an employee is difficult or slow, but that person may simply have a different way of working. How should this be evaluated?
A:
All managers should be taught to recognize different work styles and appreciate the value of diverse approaches.
But at the same time, managers need to address valid performance issues.
To differentiate the two, ask yourself whether the behavior in question is adversely affecting work results.
For example, an outgoing, extroverted employee may prefer to discuss matters in person instead of sending emails. That’s a work-style difference.
But if this chatty individual frequently distracts coworkers with extended personal conversations, that’s a performance problem.
