By now, Friday morning, my dilemma has been resolved, but all
last week I agonized, and asked my friends’ advice in the scant
hope that someone more personally-socially intelligent than I would
be able to help me figure out the right thing to do. No luck; my
friends only laughed at me.
By now, Friday morning, my dilemma has been resolved, but all last week I agonized, and asked my friends’ advice in the scant hope that someone more personally-socially intelligent than I would be able to help me figure out the right thing to do. No luck; my friends only laughed at me.
The problem was that we go to my cousin’s house for Thanksgiving. My cousin, aunt, father, assorted sisters, all their various spouses and many children come, too. All of these dear family are liberal democrats, ranging in their politics from (one) fiscal-conservative-but-strongly-pro-choice to (several) moveon.org members.
We have a pre-Thanksgiving dinner custom: we stand in a big circle, holding hands, and each states what he is most thankful for this year.
I usually get this far in explaining my dilemma to my friends before they begin laughing. They know without being told that what I am most grateful for this year is the re-election three weeks ago of President George W. Bush. But how can I share my elation with my poor broken-hearted blue-state relations this year?
Ours is not the only family in America so deeply divided. Dina Campeau related in her column of Nov. 5 that she needs a new husband, because his vote cancelled hers out again. She goes on to state that Bush won “among those less educated, with lower incomes.” I wondered if she really thinks that her husband voted differently than she because he is poor and ignorant.
I am grateful this year for my family. Because of them, I cannot complacently believe that pro-choice people are innately immoral, or that peaceniks are stupidly naive, or that socialists are either evil or deluded.
My relatives’ morality is different than mine, but it is a morality. They believe a different set of facts than I do, but they are smart, not ignorant or stupid. Because of these Thanksgivings, I have had 20 years of civil discourse: great practice for staying civil on the opinion page of The Dispatch. And civility is an absolute necessity if we are to discuss and resolve the large and small local issues of contention.
This week, for example, it was reported that Joanne Lewis, a Brownell teacher, read aloud “humorous” poems containing blatant sexual imagery to her sixth graders. (Sixth graders are 11 years old.)
Opinions differ sharply as to how inappropriate this action was, and what should be done about it. Brownell parent Elma Mendoza heard about the incident from her daughter, visited the school to discuss the matter with Ms. Lewis and the principal, assembled an informational packet, and circulated said packet to other parents.
Other parents, such as Felicia Stone and Denise Apuzzo, are less alarmed, and think that a simple reprimand would be sufficient, and that Mrs. Mendoza’s actions are overkill.
Given that Ms. Lewis is reported to have read these same poems to other students in prior years, I think Mrs. Mendoza’s actions are extremely necessary. I think distributing the material to parents and adults is perfectly appropriate, so that people can make up their own minds as to the seriousness of the situation.
I also think that Ms. Lewis should be fired. I think reading sexually explicit poems to 11-year-olds in an attempt to bond with them, not this time only but repeatedly over the course of years, bespeaks a lack of judgment as to what is appropriate behavior for a woman entrusted with the care and education of the community’s children.
Does this mean I think that Mrs. Apuzzo is a reprobate? Not at all. She has a different set of moral guidelines, including a much greater tolerance for sexual material assigned to children. In about 20 years, perhaps she and I will compare notes on how our kids have turned out, and learn something about childrearing. In the meantime, I hope we can agree to disagree.
If this country is to survive, we will have to learn how to discuss issues civilly. We can practice this art this holiday season, those of us blessed with politically divided families. It will take a miracle to reunite this country … but love is a miracle.
