Free leftover Super Bowl beer! Not really. I just wanted to get
the attention of my male readers. The column this week is a
tutorial on writing love letters. Keep reading, you XY-gene
carriers
– the location of the free beer is at the end of the column.
Free leftover Super Bowl beer! Not really. I just wanted to get the attention of my male readers. The column this week is a tutorial on writing love letters. Keep reading, you XY-gene carriers – the location of the free beer is at the end of the column.
Valentine’s Day, the day that men claim was made to torture them, is quickly approaching. What to get her? Will she want candy, flowers, diamonds or dinner away from the stove? All of these will be marketed heavily, but the one often-overlooked present is also the most sought after and the most secretly desired gift by the XX-gene carriers.
“Write me a love letter,” she whispers so inaudibly that the XY-gene carrier thinks the dog was scratching at the door. “He’ll never do it. That would mean he has to think about our relationship!” she laments, sighing deeply while clipping out the ad for the diamond store and leaving it inconspicuously on the breakfast table. Maybe, like my 14-year-old son trying to do homework, the typical male just doesn’t know where to start. Society columnist to the rescue!
To begin, do not hire Cyrano to save you and ghostwrite the letter. Neither should it be an e-mail or text message (too techie-geeky). Buy, find or make nice writing paper, and head to a quiet place (not in front of the boobtube) to think about your loved one. This goes for both men and women.
Have you been in the relationship for years or merely months? This dictates the degree of intimacy. The introduction (salutation) and the ending are the most important tone-setters for the letter. Spend time on them.
Then reminisce about the best days you’ve spent together, the hardships you’ve weathered, your favorite part of their body, etc., all in plain language – not Middle English. Be genuine and sincere, and they’ll love you for it. Don’t go purchase a card, add a tinkle on the end and call it a day. Buy the stationary, and make it your own – both presentation and content count.
Science has uncovered our love of pheromones, which is code for a chemical substance the body produces that has an effect on other people. So, as an added bonus, after you have placed your letter in the envelope, put it in a slightly worn shirt pocket for a day. Your scent will tell her it was close to your heart.
It is said that love letters contain words that are the most-often kept and the most-often burnt. Take a chance, and you might find a nice cold beer waiting for you in the fridge.
(Ladies, cut this column out and present it to your signficant other as a coupon for one free beer!)
Ciao for now.
