In the past, we’ve talked about numbers. And we’ve talked about current conversation trends, or colloquialisms. So, how about if we talk about just words, today? Most techies don’t do very well with words. I include myself in that group.
However, lately, I have become more interested in the changes in how we refer to everyday things. Here’s an example. Is elementary an adjective or a noun? Now, if you don’t know what I am talking about, you probably weren’t paying attention when Sister Mary What’shername or Mrs. Somethingorother explained the parts of speech. And, you probably didn’t care then and don’t care, now.
Well, Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary says elementary is an adjective. What is Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary? If that is your question, maybe you should just skip to the next part of this column and forget about all of this section.
Anyway, here’s the issue. Schools with grades one through six, or so, are referred to as elementary schools sometimes, and just elementary other times, the latter particularly by TV news readers. Other grades are not treated the same way. No one goes to ‘middle’, high, law, or medical. You were never asked, “What middle did you go to?” Or, what ‘high’, or ‘law’ or ‘medical’ did you attend? All of these have school included in their names. So how come some kids go to elementary?
Does anyone really care? I guess not. But when I here “At a Morgan Hill Elementary,” I wait for the word to be added to complete the sentence. I guess I need more to do now that I am retired.
While we are on the subject of schools, I can’t ignore the inane discussion going on in our neighboring city regarding the naming of a new elementary SCHOOL. In their infinite wisdom, school district decision makers have named a new school after the convicted criminal and murderer, Tiburcio Vasquez. Some say he wasn’t really guilty. But so what. History books say he was. Lots of convicted criminals claim innocence or are defended by others. Some say Lee Harvey Oswald wasn’t guilty, either. While we’re at it, why don’t we name lots of our schools after notorious folks. You know, we could have Charles Manson High School. Or, Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow Middle School. And of course, we couldn’t forget to name one of our charter schools, particularly one that specializes in good, honest government, The George Shirakawa Charter School. Nice touch.
Let’s move on. In a previous column, I described a couple of the wonderful inventions that my fertile mind has produced. After reading about them, several of you suggested that I get professional help. I assume you mean that I should hire a patent attorney to file the necessary paperwork to protect my work. Lady M thinks you mean something entirely different when you suggest getting “help.” Well, let me tell you about another idea that she helped me develop.
We were sitting in the HP Pavilion watching the Sharks annihilate the Colorado Rockies on opening night when she commented that her nose was cold. I agreed that mine was, also. Because we were well layered, only our noses were chilly.
Simultaneously, we concluded that a nose warmer would be a great idea. So we invented “nose mittens.” And, for really cold environments, one could opt for our deluxe version that includes ear mittens. Not those awkward ear muffs we wore when we were kids, but nice fluffy, designer ear mittens, suited to be worn by the well-dressed of Morgan Hill.
Maybe I do need help. The other kind.
One last thought: Something very special happened in Morgan Hill last week. A young lady, Melissa Wilder, decided to help the less fortunate among us by collecting coats to help them endure the cold weather. Lady M and I had a few coats that we hadn’t worn for a while so we packaged them up and took them to the designated drop-off point at the beautiful Morgan Hill Library. I expected to see a few coats being selected by those in need. What I saw was table after table overflowing with coats of every size and shape. And, I saw lines of folks, many with small children, taking advantage of the generosity of Morgan Hill residents.
Kudos to all who helped and a special “thank you” to Melissa for being so thoughtful and caring. She makes all Morgan Hillers proud.
Henry “Hank” Miller is a retired rocket scientist, he has an interest in classic automobiles, good conversation, martinis and community affairs. Reach him at
ha******@gm***.com
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