Dear Editor,
This is in response to Cynthia Walker’s column
”
In the Wake of a Tragedy, What Would Dr. Laura Say?
”
Dear Editor,
This is in response to Cynthia Walker’s column “In the Wake of a Tragedy, What Would Dr. Laura Say?” I must defend a young woman and mother who is now dead at the hands of her ABUSER and cannot defend herself. The details of her death are still under investigation, but the facts of her life and the way she lived it are clear, and far from what even Dr. Laura would consider bad. Franca Barsi was a lovely woman and mother and was clearly taken before her time. I am sure her son, family and the community will dearly miss her. She was active in her son’s sports and other activities as well as an active member of her local church.
The commentary in the paper did not support Franca Barsi, or other victims of domestic violence. Instead Cynthia chose to mock Franca’s life and chose to victim-blame. Also, Cynthia stated that she should not speak ill will of the dead, but that did not stop her from writing a column based on the words of a radio personality who has not lived the life she says everyone else should, i.e. “Morality and Evils”. When reading the column, hypocritical comes to mind. But I was always taught by my single mother that I should walk a mile in someone else’s shoes before I speak of or about them or their situation, and I should always have compassion and tolerance for others.
The column saddened me and opened my eyes as to how some view domestic violence as a choice.
I guess it is easier to speak ill of the victim and not the person accused of killing her. If we individually and as a community take the time and effort, we would find that most people do not chose to be in a violent relationship. It is about power and control and the abuser will do anything – even murder – to obtain and keep the control over the victim.
In Santa Clara County, violence against women is on the rise, and it has little to do with whether they are single parents. This behavior does not discriminate, it crosses all social and economic borders, so nobody is immune. Let’s stop the stereotyping and start educating ourselves and the community on the subject of domestic violence so this will empower us to reach out and help educate our youth to stop this behavior before it starts, as well as educate individuals already involved in domestic violence relationships.
Denise Jacobs, Morgan Hill
