Every woman dreams of it, even if she won’t admit the fact. That
perfect set of underwear that will make her feel like a goddess,
like a beauty queen, or like the woman you first married. So why
not give the gift of adoration this Valentine’s day?
Every woman dreams of it, even if she won’t admit the fact. That perfect set of underwear that will make her feel like a goddess, like a beauty queen, or like the woman you first married. So why not give the gift of adoration this Valentine’s day?
While relegated to the conventional gift pile, lingerie is actually an intensely personal gift that communicates reams more than, “You. This. Now.”
Well, at least to the ladies. So this Valentine’s day, why not ditch the flowers and candy?
The world of lingerie may be strange and foreign, but we’re ready to equip you with all the basics you’ll need to know in order to knock her socks (and a few other pieces of clothing) off. The first rule of lingerie shopping is to know your woman’s size.
In most cases, women’s intimates are not a small, medium and large business, so walking into a lingerie store without the foggiest idea of her bust size will lead to an embarrassing round of interrogation. (How tall is she? How much does she weigh? Does she have a broad back? Does she have a small back? Does she have large breasts? Does she …)
“When I ask what size a woman is, (men) usually say, ‘Well, kind of like you,’ but it’s never true,” said Yolaida Duran, co-owner of Alla Prima, a high-end lingerie shop in San Francisco, with business partner Magie Crystal. “If worse come to worse, we always say to bring her back so we can do an appropriate fitting.”
Most wives and girlfriends are willing to disclose their size, but for a true surprise, a quick perusal of her underwear drawer will work just as well, said Jeannine DiVincenzo, owner of Boutique de Lingerie in Hollister.
Bras are a combination of bust measurement and cup size that sound like bingo numbers – 32 A, 40 D, 34 B – while underwear generally come in numbered sizes, though they don’t correspond to a woman’s actual dress size.
Usually these numbers are much smaller.
“You don’t want to come home with something that’s way too big,” said Mishawndra Hughes, assistant manager of Lane Bryant in Gilroy. “That would not be a good Valentine’s Day, so if you’re not sure, go smaller rather than bigger. Even if it completely doesn’t fit, at least she’ll go, ‘Oh, he thinks I’m that small?'”
Beyond size, style is the other key element of lingerie. Pay attention to what she wears every day, but don’t necessarily live by what she wears during the week.
“There is definitely a difference between what a woman will buy for herself and what she wants from a partner,” said Duran. “No woman wants her man to come home with a pair of white cotton underwear and a white bra. She wants something that will say, ‘I’m sexy, I’m desirable, and you think of me in this way,’ even if it’s been years since our marriage or years since we first met.”
Style in this case, is about your partner’s state of mind. From princesses and sophisticates to tomboys and sports nuts, there’s something out there for every woman.
For an athletic partner, try something sleek rather than a bra covered in lacy bows, said Duran.
“When a man comes in here he generally likes black or red, but there are all sorts of colors and styles,” said DiVincenzo.
Don’t just look through a Victoria’s Secret catalogue and pick out what looks trendy.
Keep an eye out for her favorite color or a pattern that she’ll be wild over. When you find it, pay close attention to quality. This is one of the easiest things for a man to do, said Duran, because the process is completely tactile.
“You can’t make something really cheap feel good against the body,” said Duran, “so look at it, feel it. Beautiful, quality lingerie has a feel to it that you’re not going to get from something else.”
There are beautiful pieces in almost every price range, but as the old adage goes, you get what you pay for.
“Higher priced items are generally going to be the best quality,” said DiVincenzo. “But it is mostly about the feel. If the lace is scratchy, don’t buy it.”
And while you may have a mental picture of what you’d like to see your woman in, said DiVincenzo, remember that she has to like the idea, too.
If she doesn’t wear thongs, said Hughes, she probably won’t wear one regularly, even if you are the one who buys it. The same goes for a woman who generally wears demi-cup bras.
She’s probably not going to be as fond of a full coverage set, said DiVincenzo, and a large-busted woman is probably not going to be comfortable in a stringy, sheer bra that does little for support.
“A bra should be beautiful, should be sexy and it has to fit well,” said Duran, who stocks everything from a 32 A to a 40 H. “If you have someone who is very round and very full, you are not going to put her in a triangle bra because everything will just spill out the sides.
Most of those ads you see from Victoria’s Secret? That’s not a sexy look. Those are implants, and there’s nothing less sexy than a woman spilling half way out of her bra or out of the sides of her bra.”
This doesn’t mean the combination has to be boring.
Duran recommended buying something slightly racier than you think your girlfriend or wife would pick out herself.
Most women will step up to the suggestion and delight their man in the process.
Still, that’s not carte blanche to purchase a crotchless teddy. But if the shoe fits … well, have fun, kids.
