There are two words in the English language that strike terror
in the hearts of a parent.
There are two words in the English language that strike terror in the hearts of a parent.
They are tiny words – words so small you wouldn’t believe that they could cause such havoc and horror. In fact, some parents will not dare to say them for fear that their children will repeat them.
At great personal risk to myself, I will now show you those words. But I caution you – if you have health risks, heart problems or are considering starting a family – don’t look. These words are strong. They can do much harm. If you must, look away from the newspaper.
For the two tiny words that strike all this terror are:
“I’m bored.”
Now to some people, these are just words. But they are so much more than that. These words, when used by children, have devastating effects. They’ve been known to start wars between siblings, to make children do stupid things that sometimes result in hospitalization, and to cause parents to go insane as they desperately try to entertain their bored offspring.
Unfortunately, these words are most often said in the middle of summer. Oh sure, you’d think that the long, carefree days between school years would be delightful. And you’d think that children, with two-and-a-half months of play days, would never, ever get bored.
And you’d be wrong.
I personally know of one young boy – okay my husband – who, in early August at the tender age of 7, put on his Batman cape, climbed up on the roof and tried to fly. Thankfully, he lived in a one-story house so he only broke his arm. And he did learn a valuable lesson.
Superman is the guy who flies. Batman uses a Bat Plane.
And Harry isn’t the only one to get into trouble over these words. My parents would hear them and make my sisters and I play together. For three girls fairly close in age, that was a fate worse than death. Oh sure, it would start out fine. But pretty soon, my middle sister and I would gang up on our youngest sister and the entire playtime would deteriorate into chasing each other through the house, yelling and screaming over who stole someone else’s Barbie.
So you can see why I tremble when I hear those words from Junior. Oh sure, I don’t have any other children, so I don’t have to worry about the whole house falling down around my ears after an argument over a toy. But having only one child can make the “I’m bored’s” even worse – because if there’s nobody else to play with, guess what I get to do?
That’s right. I get to be Junior’s playmate.
Now, I’m positive there are parents who think this is a great idea. They love all that quality time with their little ones. Um, hello? Quality time with a bored 8-year-old isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
And I strongly suspect that when Junior is bored, his favorite thing to play is “Torture Mom by Making Her Play a Game.”
But since the alternative is donning a Bat Cape and flying from the roof – I usually break out the games.
Junior’s current favorite form of torture is to subject me to “Operation.” I stink at it and Junior doesn’t – which is probably why it’s his favorite game.
But after 20 minutes of that stupid buzzer going off every time I try to get the bread slice out of the stomach, my ears start to bleed and that Bat Cape looks pretty darn good, no matter how high the roof is.
Of course, so far, I’ve been lucky. I have only heard “I’m bored” once this summer.
But school is still several long weeks away – and I’m certain I will hear “I’m bored” many, many times before help arrives and school starts. I just hope I can find a Bat Plane before then.
Because if it’s one thing I’ve learned about the “I’m boreds,” it’s that Superman is the guy who flies.
