Dear Editor,
This letter took a long time in the making, I suppose if I was to count correctly it took about eight years, no, 22. It took every year of my life to write down what needs to be said here and now. The last four years of my life I have spent at UC Santa Cruz, and before that I ranged about in the patterns of adolescence at non other then Gilroy High.
My name is Emily Faus and I am the co-Founder of the ever-popular Gay-Straight Alliance at Gilroy High. Recently teachers participated in the Day of Silence, a nationally recognized movement for children not only in the U.S. but all over the world who face adversity and violence because of how they feel, because of how they love.
I have sat in silence as well, and I think that today is a good day to break that silence.
Four years ago when I went to Gilroy High I was not protected, I was not protected by the principal and I was not protected by the security administrator. I was so unprotected, that when it came to protecting me the security administrator put the expulsion of other students in my hands alone. He told me that I could choose to expel those who harassed me – and there were many – but that he would let them know I had made that decision.
When I and others originally reported complaints of sexual and verbal harassment, he let them know it was a female who reported them. He let them know it was me. I’d like to tell the people of Gilroy that this is where it ended, but this was simple child’s play compared to the actions that came next.
When I and other students began receiving death threats mailed to our front doors by anonymous sources, we, of course, brought these letters to the attention of the principal. The letter I received spelled out how the people writing it would come get me, drag me behind their cars, show me what real men could do, and make a scarecrow out of me and my friends before they would kill us. The letters were intense, and I can honestly say they affect those of my friends who received them to this day.
When we brought these terrifying letters to the principal, nothing happened. While other students at Gilroy High were being expelled for smart comments on school shootings, a death threat mailed to my home, was simply cast aside. Four years ago Gilroy High shafted me, a GATE and honors student, because it could not handle the changing world. This silence has affected me for the last four years and coming together with my thoughts now makes me realize the pain I’ve held because of it.
I’d like to say that I am no longer afraid, but I was humbled from these experiences. I was humbled enough to understand the shame of decisions that, right or wrong, end with more pain then, perhaps, they are worth. I was asked my senior year why I was doing what I did, why I was putting myself out there to be crucified. I couldn’t answer at the time; no one had asked me that yet. I realize now that I was simply sowing the seeds, making that first mark so that some hope would permeate a place of fear and resentment.
Gilroy High is not the place you think it is. It is not easy, it is not fair and your children are not protected from the teachers there. Some teachers, however, stood by me and guided me and gave me a place to hide and cry when there was nowhere else to turn, when there was nowhere else to eat lunch. There are students that walk about in fear through those same halls, children that will always walk in fear there. Your children walk afraid in the same footsteps as I did. The teachers that participate in the Day of Silence were not protesting, and those who see it as a simple protest are ignorant in the worst of ways. The Day of Silence is for those who cannot understand to take a moment in support of those who need to be stronger than you or I everyday to return to those halls. The children who walk in silence alone. The Day of Silence is so they know that perhaps there is hope.
The suicide rate for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual and questioning students is three times higher than the rate of students who are not – three times higher. These children are not protected. The children who go to public schools where it is their right as Americans to get an education is jeopardized because of ignorance and weakness in the hands of those who should be protecting them.
I respect those teachers who stand up for students because they were also the ones that kept me alive while I was there. If you harbor hate in your heart for these teachers, then you are missing the bigger picture entirely. The students at Gilroy High need more teachers like this and less bureaucracy to throw the welfare and protection of students aside as if it were nothing to them.
Emily Faus, former GHS student
