Gilroy
– Her sentence is life-long.
Convicted sexual molester Kevin Bonilla will be in state prison
for the next 32 years, but his 16-year-old victim has a prison of
her own, without walls, and she says she is just beginning to break
free.
By Lori Stuenkel
Gilroy – Her sentence is life-long.
Convicted sexual molester Kevin Bonilla will be in state prison for the next 32 years, but his 16-year-old victim has a prison of her own, without walls, and she says she is just beginning to break free.
The girl made it through Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and deep depression in the past months and now is starting to heal, particularly since Bonilla was sentenced in a San Martin courtroom Monday.
“The court process is over, but it’s going to be an ongoing struggle for me,” the victim said. “Thirty-two years, he’ll suffer in prison … so what? I have to suffer the rest of my life for it.”
Bonilla sexually molested the girl dozens of times over a five-year period, starting when she was just 10 years old. He pleaded no contest this summer to two counts of performing a lewd act with a child through force, threat or duress and one count of continuous sexual abuse of a child under 14.
Now, Bonilla’s victim says she doesn’t worry about herself, she worries about other victims, and potential victims. Now, she wants victims, their friends and family, to take a stand.
She attended her abuser’s sentencing, her third time in the courtroom, and the first time she was able to sit in the same room as Bonilla without sobbing or losing control. In fact, she read a more than two-page statement to the court, calling Bonilla’s 32-year sentence a “blessing” on his behalf.
“I thought I was going to cry when I talked about the details, but after, I just started crying,” she said. “It was really a part of my healing process, I think, and no one really knew what was really happening to me.
“They knew about what he had done, but they didn’t know how it really affected me.”
People don’t know, for example, that since her abuser’s arrest, the victim repeatedly has attempted suicide, been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and group homes, and battled psychiatric disorders related to her depression.
Even after all she’s been through, this 16-year-old still is just a girl. Wearing flannel pajama pants with cartoon characters printed on them, she sits cross-legged on the floor of her bedroom. She says matter-of-factly that talking to The Dispatch is also part of her healing process. During the next hour she fidgets frequently, tugging at her tennis shoes, interlacing her fingers, and stretching out the sleeves of her sweatshirt.
She shares her pale blue bedroom with her grandmother, sleeping in one of two twin beds, across from the woman who was the first family member in which she confided. She describes her grandmother as soft, loving, and generous with hugs.
The first time the girl thought the abuse was wrong was in sixth grade, when she saw a television movie about a sexually abused girl.
“I didn’t really know that much,” she said. “And then, freshman year, we learned about sexual abuse, and everyone was saying, ‘It’s wrong, and one out of three people have it happen,’ and everyone was like, ‘That would suck’.”
Sexual abuse was discussed at school the next year, too, and the girl read a first-hand account of an abuse victim, in which the author pleaded with other victims to seek help.
“I was afraid for my family, everyone, because I thought, maybe if I told, he would come and kill us,” she said.
The decision to finally tell someone about the abuse was not an easy one. The girl had been cutting herself for nearly a year – the scars are now fading from her arms – and went to her reverend to talk.
He wanted to report the crime. At first, she didn’t.
“I was scared, I didn’t want anyone to find out,” she said. “I thought – I still think – it’s my fault, but I didn’t really want to get him in trouble.”
But she decided to let him report the abuse. It was that night that she told her grandmother.
“She didn’t know what to say, because, like, she hears about it happening, but she would never expect it to happen to someone so close to her,” the girl said.
After meeting with Gilroy police detectives, the girl swallowed her fear and agreed on March 2 to make a pre-text phone call to Bonilla, an unemployed television photojournalist. The first two attempts went unanswered, and she felt relieved. On the third try, “he admitted to lots of stuff” and was arrested that night.
The victim says she couldn’t have made it through the arrest and court process without the help of people like Gilroy Police Detective Wes Stanford, Assistant District Attorney Stacy Rubino, and others. She refers to those close to her as “my” reverend, “my detective,” “my D.A.”
By all accounts, they see her as an extraordinary girl.
If the case had gone to a trial, the girl would have been asked to testify, but says she was reluctant to do so. Instead, he pleaded no contest for a 32-year sentence. He tried in September to withdraw that plea, but later backed off.
Now, after several suicide attempts and extensive therapy, the victim is trying to live her 16th year the way she always imagined it would be, hanging out with friends, staying out later, even learning to drive. Her friends have been her rock since she told them, she said. She feels comfortable talking about her ordeal now, especially because her friends have accepted it and support her.
She wants to talk to other people, including younger students at her high school, to prevent someone else from becoming a victim and to help those who are being victimized.
“Once I let a lot of people know at school, people started, coming to me and saying, ‘Hey, I’ve been abused – what do I do?’,” she said. “So I feel really happy.”
School is still a struggle. Her grades dropped dramatically last year and she worked through the summer to get back on track. At times, she still finds herself zoning out without realizing it.
The girl no longer cuts herself, instead relying on coping mechanisms she learned from counselors.
“Now I draw,” she said. “I’m not a good artist, and I never used to draw, but now I draw a lot.”
Country music – Brad Paisley is “really cute” – taking walks and turning to religion are outlets, too, she said.
At her abuser’s sentencing, the girl expressed concern for other sexual abuse victims and asked parents to remain vigilant of predators. Most telling, she said that, while years of her life are ruined, she is no longer a victim.
“You thought I was weak, too afraid to say anything. Well, once again, you are completely wrong,” she said in court Monday.
“I am in control now, not you. I am glad I was strong enough to talk to someone about my problem, and I am so glad I was strong enough to allow someone to get help for me.
“Now, I feel better about putting you away, and today is a big turning stone in my life.”
