As the JibJab.com jingle goes, whether you’re a
”
liberal wiener
”
or a
”
right wing nut job,
”
this land is filled with things to buy in support of your
favorite candidate. There’s regular fare like caps, mugs, tote bags
and sweatshirts. But the daring go for more unusual items like
political togs for dog and baby, partisan cookbooks and even thong
underwear for the cause.
As the JibJab.com jingle goes, whether you’re a “liberal wiener” or a “right wing nut job,” this land is filled with things to buy in support of your favorite candidate. There’s regular fare like caps, mugs, tote bags and sweatshirts. But the daring go for more unusual items like political togs for dog and baby, partisan cookbooks and even thong underwear for the cause.
Oh! And don’t forget to order your own presidential action figure for just $29.99 plus shipping and handling.
That’s right. You too can stage your own adventures of “The Ex-Presidents” a la Saturday Night Live with 12-and-a-half-inch replicas of your favorite commanders-in-chief. The dolls recite speech clips when activated, and buyers can choose from a selection including George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Ronald Reagan, John F. Kennedy and Teddy Roosevelt. Next month, the dolls’ maker, Toypresidents Inc., will also roll out models including Jimmy Carter, Richard Nixon, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington.
“These men were men of action,, and as such should be considered action figures,” said Dwayne Crosby, vice president of sales and marketing for Toypresidents, in a statement on the company’s Web site. “Our product talks and has numerous points of articulation.”
Crosby helped company president Jesse Combs start the Houston-based Toypresidents in 2002 as reaction to the events of Sept. 11, 2001. The figures speak 25 historical phrases, like this one from Bush: “My job is to protect America, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.”
The action figures are meant to be educational props, but if you’re looking for a more in-your-face assault on the opposition, visit www.CafePress.com, a collection of online retailers with more than a little attitude.
Patriot Boy, a section of CafePress.com, lampoons the right on mugs emblazoned with armed fetuses and cartoons in which Jesus is a republican, while Right Nation, another section of CafePress.com pokes fun at the left with shirts and aprons featuring slogans like “Straight Pride” and “Saving your a**, like it or not.”
Dog lovers can head over to the Kerry Swag section to score some partisan doggie tees, while republican chefs can pick up the Babes for Bush Cookbook: Second Term Selections for just $20. Buyers can whip up some Coalition Forces Scallops St. Jacques (not Chirac) to go with their Allied Forces Yellow Cake and bring it all to a friendly social gathering in their Kerry flip flops. They’d just better be on the lookout for that dude wearing his “Bush: Ignorance is strength” shirt along with the matching “Don’t change horsemen in the middle of an apocalypse” button. And don’t worry. If you’re still on the fence, the JibJab store offers you the chance to make fun of the whole mess with tees, lunch boxes and stickers featuring both sides.
In personalizing your own campaign, you might get a few funny looks, but just remember to picture that Ronald Reagan doll you know you want saying, “Freedom is the recognition that no single person, no single authority or government has a monopoly on the truth.”
