This is my first job after graduation, and I have already
received a warning letter from my boss. I work in a very small
business, which is owned by a husband and wife. I am the only
person who works in the office with them.
Q:
This is my first job after graduation, and I have already received a warning letter from my boss. I work in a very small business, which is owned by a husband and wife. I am the only person who works in the office with them. To find out how I was doing, I recently requested a performance review. My boss praised me for being a hard worker and gave me several suggestions for improvement. Then he handed me a warning letter.
I only asked for this meeting to get some feedback. I had no idea that I was doing anything wrong. What can I do to avoid losing my job?
A:
Your manager obviously did not handle this well. If he was disappointed in your performance, he should have talked to you when the problems arose instead of blindsiding you with a written warning. At this point, however, you need to consider two key questions. First, do you understand what he expects you to do differently? And second, do you have the ability to make those changes? If you were given only vague directives, like “show more initiative” or “communicate better,” then you need to request more clarity. Ask your boss to help you make a list of specific goals to be accomplished or behaviors that need to change.
If you are capable of making these changes, do so immediately. If you lack critical skills or knowledge, then ask for some training.
But if the expectations seem impossible to meet, that may be a sign that you are simply in the wrong job.
Hitting this roadblock in your first professional position might understandably make you feel shaken and discouraged. But don’t lose your self-confidence. Instead, try to focus on what this experience can teach you about yourself, your manager or the kind of work that you prefer.
Q:
You recently printed a letter from a woman whose co-worker had stopped talking to her, but would not say why. You said the co-worker was acting passive-aggressive. I would like to offer a different point of view.
For years, I have worked with a very needy person who constantly worries about whether I am mad at her. She watches me carefully to be sure that nothing is wrong. Whenever I am quiet, she assumes I’m angry and asks, “What’s the matter?” I have explained that sometimes I’m busy and need to concentrate on my work.
I have also assured her repeatedly that I will tell her if I am upset about anything. Yet she still keeps asking “what’s the matter?” Although I am still friendly and polite to her, I have decided that I will no longer play this game. When she asks what’s wrong, I simply say “nothing” and continue working, because I am really sick of this question.
A:
Thanks for sharing an instructive example. You’ve clearly made the point that people can exhibit the same behavior for completely different reasons.
