DEAR EDITOR:
Oh, the holidays! Such joy, such fun, such a special time
– for some.
DEAR EDITOR:
Oh, the holidays! Such joy, such fun, such a special time – for some.
Last year our extended family sat around the table and shared their favorite holiday memory and wish for the coming year. The last to share was a young man who was dating one of the teenagers. We had wondered why he wasn’t with his family on Christmas Eve. With tears in his eyes, he shared that he didn’t even remember a Christmas that wasn’t ruined by alcohol and hatefulness. His family never sat around a table and talked about anything – in fact, they never sat around a table.
So many people in our culture are isolated by distance, ill feelings between family members, grieving for lost family, or the family that was never there. Isolation has a strong link to depression, ill health (physical and mental), and anti-social or addictive behavior. Is there a solution to this national epidemic?
As a teacher, I sometimes feel despair when I hear about the family lives of many of the students.
We estimate that one in four children live in a household where drugs and/or alcohol are a problem. So many of the children are “flat” with little interest or enthusiasm about anything. Many are troubled with the brokenness of their families.
Some of the children are different. They, too, come from “broken” or single-parent homes or live with a relative or in foster care. But someone gave them another way to look at life. They are a part of a larger family who shares a spiritual connection that gives hope and meaning to their lives. They are following Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Christian and other spiritual paths that give them a larger view. Participation also gives opportunities for all of us to share in positive intergenerational relationships. Our children were thousands of miles from grandparents but were adopted by older church members who are still part of their lives.
Holidays are so shallow unless we seek deeper meanings for life than fancy cars, big houses, and lots of presents. Some are afraid to get involved because these spiritual paths are usually represented by the fringe groups that get media coverage.
Some parents say that they are going to let their children grow up and then let the child decide if he/she wants to join a faith community. So much is missed because a child’s spiritual connection will give their lives meaning that no one can take away.
Gilroy is full of opportunities. Many are listed in this newspaper or can be recommended by a friend or neighbor.
This holiday could be different. It may be uncomfortable at first, but do it for yourselves and the children. It will be the longest lasting gift anyone will receive. The best things in life ARE free.
Gretchen Vandenberg,
Gilroy
Submitted Wednesday, Dec. 10
